Accident Beneath The Wandsworth Bridge

Where once the fishermen did shit
And wipe their arseholes with dead carp
Where industry killed off its own
And misery was sold as hope
Where young men snapped clay pipes for luck
And toiled their death when the tide was out
That's where my father slipped in mud
And landed in a tampon dump
And broke his stupid head in two.

Beneath the rotting Wandsworth Bridge
The place where he was born.


  1. LOL
    I get the idea that this might just be a true story.

  2. It is a true story. We used to go down along the river bank and look for clay pipes and old bottles. This day we was on a real dirty, muddy, slippery, sewage dump part of the bank and because it was on an inner bend it was full of large rocks and stones too. My father slipped and landed in all the shit and split his head open. He was concussed and I helped him up and back up top. He was pouring blood. Luckily where we came back up there was a huge Safeways along the bank and so he staggered in there, covered in shit and mud and blood looking for bandages and anti-septic cream. Of course, we got thrown out! And so I had to go in alone, get the first aid and then bandage his stupid head up. All the way home he kept telling me, "I think I've got that tetanus.. my jaw feels stiff!" Well, if he did his mouth never ceased up and he was still going on about the next day.

    Almost in the same place a few years later we found an old tramp dead. He was face down and so it wasn't too bad a sight.

  3. Ps: that was my stepfather, ot my blood father. 90% of the time when I speak of 'my father' it'll be my step father.

  4. That is a very funny story - or at least the picture I have of it in my head is.

    I don't suppose you were too amused at the time though.